tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43257365257487011932024-03-12T21:13:44.342-07:00XX MalfunctionA girl with Asperger's Syndrome blogs about life and the challenges of existing.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-19896188556667850052012-08-19T15:34:00.002-07:002012-08-19T15:34:26.199-07:00Hitting, humming and twisting, oh mySomething different has been going on with me in the past month. I think my stress reactions are changing, or something is at least, because I've begun doing things I've never done before. Namely, I've started hitting and tapping myself and things around me more often, as well as humming a single note and twisting my body. I'm not sure this is a positive development, but it's very curious.<br />
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At times, it seems like a new stim. I tap my head over and over again when I'm stressed or overwhelmed by the environment. Just this past week, I was sitting in my doctor's office and the combination of the air conditioner, people talking and doors opening became too much for me. I wound up sitting with my head down, tapping the sides of it over and over to block everything out.<br />
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Other times, it's more troubling, like when I was at a music festival. Sitting there, I wound up constantly shaking my hands, tapping them together, hitting the ground or my head or my shoulders and twisting my torso around. I don't understand why I'm doing this, if it's an AS thing or something else. I feel better when I do it, there's no compulsion or obsessive need to, but at the same time I don't want to do it. I know I look crazy and I hate looking weird in public.<br />
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Sometimes it's calming, while sometimes it's not. It's alien and unwanted. I have to move, have to shake my hands and tense my muscles, have to hum a single pitch to myself or hit my shoulder with my hand over and over. I feel like I'm not in control of my body when that happens. My tics - the twitching and grimacing ones I usually have - aren't great, but I'm at peace with them. These are a new senation.<br />
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Anyone else suddenly develop something like this? Should I be worried about it, or just let it go and hope it goes away?Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-14397279561860561722012-08-13T11:34:00.000-07:002012-08-13T11:34:12.003-07:00The best explanation of autsim everI've been searching for a way to easily explain my AS to people for a long time, and have come up with very little. I have a habit of over complicating and getting lost in the details of what I'm trying to say because I know so much about this topic. Where it'll start off fine, I end up getting into comorbidities and exacting details of everything and wind up confusing my listeners.<br />
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That's why I'm so grateful that MOM-NOS wrote a series of posts about how she explained her son's autism to his classmates. They're from 2010, but I can't see them going out of date any time soon. Her analogy about having a hair dryer brain in a toaster world is spot-on what it's like to have autism and how I view the world. If anyone has a question for me about why I do certain things, I'll be directing them here.<br />
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<a href="http://momnos.blogspot.fr/2010/03/on-being-hair-dryer-kid-in-toaster.html" target="_blank">MOM-NOS: A hair dryer kid in a toaster brained world</a>Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-39482462659259839802012-08-07T14:19:00.000-07:002012-08-07T14:19:52.240-07:00Why I'm a person with autism, not an autistic personTonight, as I was browsing through my tweets as I often do, I ran across an <a href="http://illusionofcompetence.blogspot.com/2012/08/disability-first-autism-is-not-accessory.html" target="_blank">interesting post from Zoe at Illusion of Competence</a>. In her post, she explained why she uses the term autistic person to refer to herself rather than saying that she is a person with autism, and likened the latter phrase to implying that a person could simply lose their autism much like someone could lose their suitcase.<br />
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For me, using person-first language and saying that I am a person with autism is a way of presenting myself to the outside world. For me, I'm saying to people "Hi, I'm a human being just like you, and I happen to have a neurological difference". To me, that's positive. To put my autism out first is to say "Hi, I'm different than you and you're welcome to treat me that way". For me, it's not about separating myself from autism so that I might lose it but presenting my humanity first to foster acceptance.<br />
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Fact is, people are cruel, and many neurotypicals are cruel to those who are different than them. By presenting my autism first, it would be not allowing them the chance to get to know me before judging me.<br />
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Most people who are LGBT don't walk up to a crowd and say "Hi, I'm a gay person". While being gay is an integral part of their identity, it doesn't define who they are, and it's not the first thing they put out there in the world. They know that there are people who will hate them simply based on that fact if its' put straight out there in front, but that a lot more people will be accepting and loving toward them if they simply let the world get to know them as a whole person, sexual identity and all.<br />
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Autism is a major part of who I am. It's involved in how I think, how I interact with people, how I react to the world around me. I would never want to lose my autism, and I don't believe that it's even possible to do so. However, I want people to get to know the whole me, with my autism and everything else involved, and I find that people are much more accepting of my differences when they're simply introduced to me as "Annika", not as "Autistic Annika".<br />
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My use of person-first language is aimed at fostering acceptance of Aspies and Autsies among neurotypicals, rather than making myself stand apart from everyone else. I want to be included in the world and be a part of it rather than making myself into an "other", someone who can't be involved.<br />
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I'm not going to tell anyone else to use a particular type of language - even I slip up and refer to myself as an autistic person on occasion, but I'd really like to know how you feel. Are you an autistic person or a person with autism? Why?Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-27386008638143521262012-07-25T13:08:00.000-07:002012-07-25T13:08:22.137-07:00The days I wish to be normalSome days - no, make that most days - I have a really hard time getting out and socializing. I'm aware that interacting with people and having friends are what I'm supposed to do as a female young adult. Even as a geek girl, I'm supposed to have a small group of friends I go out with regularly and invite over and talk to, people I can make plans with and actually follow through on them. The summer is supposed to be a time of getting out, doing things and hanging out with friends.<br />
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My summer has mostly been spent alone or at work. When I go out, it's usually with my cousin, who is the one female my age who I'm close to, or with my mom. As much as I don't want to feel like this is bad, I feel pathetic. This isn't what people tell me I should be doing. If I were like most girls my age, I would be out doing things. I would be able to go to the beach on a trip without having an anxiety attack or needing to schedule everything to the minute, or drive to an unfamiliar area and visit something new without being terrified or risking having a breakdown in public, or having someone stare at me because I'm flapping and bouncing all over the place. I would be able to go on the camping trip I've been wanting to do all summer because I would have friends to go with me<br />
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When other people get involved, there are more variables, which means
more change and more stress. What if one person can't come and I was
depending on them for something? What if the driver decides to stop
somewhere off the plan? What if I get lost, or the place is closed, or I
lose something important? And then, the big one - what if I get overwhelmed and have a breakdown which leaves me nonverbal and unresponsive? All these stresses pile up and make me not
even want to go anywhere. I want to stick with what is routine,
predictable... safe. What I know. While logically I know that anything
can be dealt with, I fear these variables. They make it hard for me to get out. <br />
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When I think about how little I've interacted with people this summer, how few places I've gone, it hurts. These are the days when autism isn't rainbows and sunshine and happy advocacy. These are the days I want to be neurotypical, the days I wish to be normal.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-5640197016992928612012-07-01T07:00:00.000-07:002012-07-01T07:00:00.878-07:00How I learned to beat my anxiety disorder<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f4/The_Scream.jpg/230px-The_Scream.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f4/The_Scream.jpg/230px-The_Scream.jpg" /></a>I have anxiety. Officially, I have Anxiety Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. Much like PDD-NOS, it's an incredibly vague form of a disorder where the symptoms are all there but don't present the way they might in a more specific version of it.<br />
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For years I was on a medication for it to help calm me down and let me function relatively normally without being paralyzed by anxiety attacks, a very low-dose anti-psychotic. It worked well, but every time my doctor took me off of it, I'd spiral into constant paranoia, lose some of my functioning ability and have panic attacks. On it, I had very few side effects and it allowed me to shake off the anxiety fairly easily, so keeping me on it was a no brainer - it helped far, far more than it could possibly hurt.<br />
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In April, after being on it for years, something changed.<br />
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I started having weird movements in my neck and shoulders where I would suddenly jerk and twitch without meaning to. It was subtle at first but came on harder and harder until I had to call my psychiatrist. He decided to pull me off of my medication until he could see me again because he was afraid the medicine might be causing tardive dyskinesia, a side effect of long-term use.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQYNCN6KzJzW6D9l89ZYPRY-Vw3VzdGIimrQw20lOLC0nipWKYrd9OZiDY8O5fHUHz8URDiwYlLUC6L83PmxiMB6xqgA4laXe9DnsxgsVw89q5_VxGKC9gKXZPKRWJH-WlpWEcuHoClf8/s1600/anguish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQYNCN6KzJzW6D9l89ZYPRY-Vw3VzdGIimrQw20lOLC0nipWKYrd9OZiDY8O5fHUHz8URDiwYlLUC6L83PmxiMB6xqgA4laXe9DnsxgsVw89q5_VxGKC9gKXZPKRWJH-WlpWEcuHoClf8/s320/anguish.jpg" width="236" /></a>This made me really worried - how would I be able to complete finals without my medication? How could I focus when I was constantly paranoid someone was hiding in the walls, waiting to kill me (one of my frequent paranoia subjects), or I was too scared to open doors for fear someone was standing behind them? Very reluctantly, I followed his orders and slowed then stopped the doses.<br />
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Once the withdraw symptoms were gone, it felt like waiting for the inevitable. I was practically counting down the days to having a freak out and crying in a corner, too afraid to move. I had nightmares several times a week of my anxiety returning and failing my finals - not having my anxiety was causing me anxiety!<br />
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My finals came... and they went. And no anxiety sprung up to slap me down, even a month, two months after being taken off my medicine. I was very cautiously excited, and eventually was able to get in to see my psych.<br />
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This is the awesome part: My anxiety is now under control naturally. Three months later and I'm going strong - no medication, no desire for it again. See, while I was worrying about my anxiety coming on during my finals, I was inadvertently teaching myself a coping skill by making lists and plans just in case it happened. I was listing off what I needed to do if it came back, how to deal with it, how to calm myself down and focus on the future.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiszsEJmO3Cex4WZDZK95JB1nyqvVh_lbUzMW2ccMtpHQWtZW8ORl-UVpWGgB3CgQzxAvnQz3q9GiiVNdALojGv7qU0qxiSiYSif335ZHYZ_2MPufXUbAjGNQbLhf020wxk6C4WEgugpeM/s1600/anxiety.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiszsEJmO3Cex4WZDZK95JB1nyqvVh_lbUzMW2ccMtpHQWtZW8ORl-UVpWGgB3CgQzxAvnQz3q9GiiVNdALojGv7qU0qxiSiYSif335ZHYZ_2MPufXUbAjGNQbLhf020wxk6C4WEgugpeM/s320/anxiety.jpg" width="320" /></a>I also taught myself a skill accidentally. One day I was starting to have a little paranoia when I went to open my door. No one was home but me, and as I put my hand on the doorknob, I had a flash that someone would be standing behind it. By the time I had this flash, it was too late - the door swung open. I winced, then looked - empty! I started laughing and laughing, and realized that if I just did something I was afraid of and it turned out okay, I felt better. That led me to start doing my own version of desensitization therapy by confronting my fears and realizing that they're not real.<br />
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Every day I experience anxiety. Anxiety about work, finding an internship, doing things, talking to people, getting somewhere on time, remembering things. But now instead of letting it control me, I try to take a deep breath and learn how to either control it or remind myself that I can't control it and that I shouldn't worry until it happens.<br />
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This is how I did it - how have you dealt with your anxiety?Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-29581779410199987032012-06-22T21:01:00.000-07:002012-06-22T21:01:18.083-07:00We are all validAll of our experiences with autism are valid. It doesn't matter if you're a person who has autism, a parent of a child with it, an Aspie or a teacher. Each experience you have is real and important, and it makes an impact on you.<br />
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The problem is that we have is a tendency to invalidate or question of the experiences of others. We say that because the other person hasn't been through a certain thing or done something, their experiences with autism mean less. Sometimes it's a parent saying to an Aspie something like "Well, you don't have real autism like my child so what you say doesn't matter". Other times, it's a person with autism saying, "You don't know what it's like to have autism, so how can you know anything about it?" I'm guilty of doing this. It becomes a holier-than-thou battle which no one ever wins.<br />
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We can't agree - and probably won't ever agree- on the most basic concepts of autism. What causes it, why, if it should be cured, how to deal with it, all of those things. Because we can't agree, we find every little thing to fight over and often end up telling others that for various reasons their view of what autism is like is wrong, that they don't know what autism is really like.<br />
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I'm going to be trying to give up my judgmental attitude toward others. I'd love for you to join me. We might not agree on a lot, but we all have experience with autism in some way. It's a part of all of us, and that unites us even in our great divides.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-6883285473156905022012-06-18T13:20:00.002-07:002012-06-18T13:20:22.577-07:00Happy Autistic Pride Day!June 18th is Autistic Pride Day, a day every year when people on the Autistic spectrum are encouraged to be proud of who they are. I think this should be something we talk about every day - everyone should be proud of who they are, particularly those in the autistic community. We receive so much negative feedback from the world around us, saying that we're sick and need to be cured, that we're stupid or twisted - a day of pride is important.<br />
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For me, today is a day of advocacy. It's a day to stand up and correct the negative, harmful assumptions about autistic people, to say "Yes, I'm autistic and I'm a person with the same rights and responsibilities as everyone else". I have not worn traditional symbols like puzzle pieces or blue because those have been ursurped by cure organizations as symbols for their movements. Instead, I drew an eternity symbol on my hand, the sign of Aspies For Freedom.<br />
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If you wore blue today, please reconsider your clothing choice next year. The wear blue movement was started by Autism Speaks, an organization with a horrible reputation in the autistic community. Lighting things up blue and wearing blue is intended to advocate for research to "cure" autism. A cure isn't something which the great majority of aspies and autistics want, and the idea of it is offensive to most of us.<br />
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Today, like every day, I am confident in my abilities and proud of who I am. I know that each and every day I learn more, I become more resilient and gain confidence in myself. Autism isn't who I am, but it's a part of me, and it's a part I accept and embrace wholeheartedly, from the wonderful aspects to the painful moments.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-75611844072398889472012-06-15T21:35:00.001-07:002012-06-15T21:37:50.364-07:00"Violent" outbursts aren't about violence"Violent outbursts" is one of those scary things parents and teachers of those with ASDs often have problems understanding. It's unfortunate that even teachers with training don't get why a kid with AS will suddenly go bezerk and slap another kid or kick a wall or throw something. In the eyes of far too many professionals, these reactions show a form of something akin to psychopathy and instead of treating the cause of the outburst, they elect to punish or make assumptions about the child, saying that they lack empathy, that they're heartless or cruel, or just like to hurt someone, or that they're unstable and need to be isolated.<br />
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<a href="http://www.thesuperest.com/_img/_heroes/k26_drempathy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.thesuperest.com/_img/_heroes/k26_drempathy.jpg" width="242" /></a>Let's get the empathy issue out of the way before going any further. I plan to do a longer post on this soon, but here's the basics. In my eyes, one of the stupidest but most common beliefs about autistic people is that we lack empathy. Unfortunately, this idea is growing more and more common, especially with the trial of Anders Breivik, the Norwegian man who shot and killed several people during an attack on a summer camp. <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2156530/Anders-Behring-Breivik-rare-forms-Aspergers-Tourette-s-syndromes-says-Norways-leading-psychiatrist.html?ito=feeds-newsxml" target="_blank">A court psychiatrist has claimed that Breivik has Asperger's Syndrome</a> which, according to the doctor, "has left him incapable of empathy or real friendship".<br />
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People with autism have empathy, but we often lack the social cues to understand when we've done or said something hurtful. There are times when I've hurt a persons feelings, and until someone later pulled me aside and say "Hey look, you made so-and-so really upset, she's crying because you said that thing earlier", I had no clue I had done anything wrong. Once this fact is pointed out to me, I feel terrible and often start crying myself because I hadn't meant to hurt them. The problem isn't an inability to feel, but rather a blindness to the facial expressions and body language used to convey that feeling.<br />
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The scary, crazy-looking temper tantrums and extreme, often
violent reactions are, in my own experience, an expression of pent-up
frustration at something, often from an
inability to communicate a need or understand how to appropriately
handle a stressor.<br />
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Outbursts are never about being violent.<br />
<a name='more'></a> Whenever I've had one I didn't hit someone with a single malicious thought in my head. Rather, I hit them because there was a problem which I couldn't solve and became frustrating. Instead of using words to ask another person to stop doing something or removing myself from the situation, I would break down completely and throw a violent tantrum because I didn't know another way to deal with what was going on.<br />
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Now that I'm older and have a higher degree of self-control, I'm able to quell the urge to hit someone or something because it's annoying me, but I can often be found cursing vividly at games, Photoshop, essays and other projects. I still have moments where I'll clench my fists and have to talk myself down from punching a hole in the wall, or in whomever might be unlucky enough to be standing in front of that wall.<br />
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<a href="http://images.sciencedaily.com/2007/12/071213194723-large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.sciencedaily.com/2007/12/071213194723-large.jpg" width="226" /></a>Often, this comes down to communication problems. Sometimes the difficulty of
communication for many autistic people is misunderstood or even
belittled by NTs. While I am verbal for the most part, I can become
nonverbal under stress, or have times when I'm unable to say what I need
to without being prompted to do so. If I can't speak, I become
agitated and moody. The little tiny mute periods I have are intensely
frustrating. It's hard for me to imagine how much that frustration and
annoyance multiplies in those who are entirely nonverbal. Though I've
read many pieces by nonverbal autists who are able to type about their
experiences, it's still almost another world.<br />
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Other times it's all about not understanding an appropriate reaction to something or how to think, then act. This is a skill which can take years to hone (and I've been told some NTs don't possess this ability either). Even in my senior year of high school there were a few incidents where I reacted to something stressing me without thinking about other ways to handle it. One of these times, I punched a guy teasing my friend, and in another I almost stabbed a boy's hand straight through with a pencil. These all come down to impulse control, which is remembering to pause and take a breath before responding to a situation.<br />
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"Violent" outbursts really need to be renamed. To what, I don't know, but putting a word like violent, which has such strong negative connotations into something which has nothing to do with being willfully violent is silly. Maybe "frustration outbursts" would be more accurate, or "impulsive outbursts".<br />
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What's your experience been like with these kinds of reactions? What's your favorite way to quell or prevent them?Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-46359277174934902942012-06-11T08:06:00.001-07:002012-06-11T08:06:28.246-07:00Effectively faking eye contact"Look me in the eye" isn't only the name of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Look-Me-Eye-Life-Aspergers/dp/0307395987" target="_blank">a great book by John Elder Robinson</a>, an adult aspie. It's also a refrain familiar to any aspie, from childhood on up. Our inability to easily look at eyes leads to all sorts of problems from childhood through adulthood. We're called liars and untrustworthy simply because we can't make eye contact with the ease that nypicals can.<br />
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This issue has led to trouble for me. I can recall a specific incident when I was in elementary school, prior to being diagnosed. I was being accused of doing something I didn't do by two other girls in my class and taken to the principal's office. After giving my side of the story and them giving theirs, the principal declared that I was a liar because I wouldn't look at his eyes. I was punished and they got away unscathed, leaving me confused and angry.<br />
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Why couldn't I look at eyes? Why did it stress me out so much? I still don't know. Even today, I don't understand why it's so hard for me to look someone in the eye. I can do it briefly now that I'm older and trained to resist the discomfort, but in a stressful situation or when I'm concentrating, that ability goes out the window.<br />
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To substitute, I've learned how to fake eye contact. It takes a bit of practice, but I can do it now without thinking about it. The technique was simply a modification on the techniques used to train me to look at eyes combined with my natural ability to unfocus my gaze and appear to be looking straight through a person.<br />
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Here's how I do it: <br />
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I select a location that I'm comfortable looking at which is close to or on a person's face. This can range from their upper chest to the top of their head, including their nose, mouth, ears and forehead.<br />
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Once this location is selected, I focus on that place for a few seconds to a minute, before I unfocus my eyes and flick my gaze to another area I'm comfortable with. If this means going from their chin to the top of their head, the unfocusing keeps me from having to look directly into their eyes and it's brief enough that most won't notice that I'm looking through them instead of at them.<br />
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Occasionally, I'll meet their eyes for a moment at what seems like a key point in the conversation, just to give that full acknowledgement that they have my attention before I look back at the area slightly away from their eyes.<br />
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A note of caution here: If the person you're talking to has a deformity or injury of some kind in one of these areas, avoid looking at that spot. Staring at an injury is insulting and can make the person feel uncomfortable or make them angry at you. The same goes for women, particularly those with large chests or low-cut shirts. Don't look at her chest as she will likely perceive you as staring at her breasts, which is insulting and gives off the impression that you're a pervert.<br />
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This technique has been working well for me for several years. Most people either don't care or aren't paying enough attention to tell when you're not looking directly at their eyes. Try it for yourself and let me know how it goes, and feel free to share your experiences with eye contact in the comments below.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-37125349700833311822011-09-23T07:16:00.000-07:002011-09-23T07:19:15.108-07:00Glee and Aspergers<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://image.com.com/tv/images/genie_images/story/2011_usa/g/glees3ep1recap/glees3ep1_8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="http://image.com.com/tv/images/genie_images/story/2011_usa/g/glees3ep1recap/glees3ep1_8.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sugar, the offending character</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
I don't want to sound like the oversensitive PC police, but I was offended by the portrayal of Aspergers on Glee. If it were some of the other shows I watch, there wouldn't have been a problem - many of those aren't known for their sensitive handling of disability topics. Glee, however, had no excuse for playing autism this way.<br />
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They've been applauded in the past for how they deal with disability issues, bullying, gay rights and other major controversies. They have a recurring character on the show with Down Syndrome, played by an actress with the same disability. They handled physical handicaps beautifully by having a character in a wheelchair and doing an episode where all the students in the Glee club had to use wheelchairs at school to understand how hard things were for their classmate. They regularly show kids standing up to bullying and discrimination. Why, oh why did Glee have to take this offensive, tactless route with AS?<br />
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For those of you who don't watch the show and don't know what I'm talking about, in this season premiere of Glee, they put in a female character who uses "I have Aspergers" as an excuse to do and say whatever she wants. She was a horrible singer when she tried out to be in the glee club and constantly flung insults at the other characters while saying that the fact that she had (seemingly self diagnosed) Aspergers excused her.<br />
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Unfortunately, this is the way many people in the world see my disability, even though I don't act anywhere near how the girl on the show did. They hear a single murmur of "I have AS", even in a valid situation where it's called for as an explanation and they just see the bad things from then on out, believing that I think it's an excuse to never better myself. That isn't at all true to any who knows me.<br />
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Glee, if you're going to use a character on the autism spectrum, please give them the same equal, sensitive treatment that you have to every other disabled character. High school kids with real AS already feel awkward and misunderstood enough, they don't need you trivializing their disorder. Like my mom used to say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.<br />
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How did you feel about the show and the AS character? Do you think they're going to bring her back?Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-22046528289870929052011-05-25T16:14:00.000-07:002011-05-25T16:14:08.553-07:00When it hurts to function<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUEVWJLq8kGY6cXf6Yucqdt53R78lUFmPDQJmlzHwGnRmngNrmozmNRGTknm3TitEUoYlgI6-GVbtxca7uPYhTSsQgQmFTUF5qHPDHgk7zVpO2hR8BLCPNOGpNSeAZKhTFpreluhTHqY2J/s400/girl+hands+over+ears+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUEVWJLq8kGY6cXf6Yucqdt53R78lUFmPDQJmlzHwGnRmngNrmozmNRGTknm3TitEUoYlgI6-GVbtxca7uPYhTSsQgQmFTUF5qHPDHgk7zVpO2hR8BLCPNOGpNSeAZKhTFpreluhTHqY2J/s320/girl+hands+over+ears+1.jpg" width="213" /></a>Most days at work I'm fine, if not happy, but there are days when it hurts to force myself to function normally. Today was one of those days. For the first two hours of work today I was in intense pain. It hurt to talk and I mostly gestured when I could. Normally I can look near faces if not at something on them, but today I wanted to look int the opposite direction and could barely stand to look at the upper bodies of others around me. Every texture, every sound hurt. Touching anything made me shudder, people talking sent spikes through my head. It felt like the world was attacking me.<br />
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Every ounce of control I had was called in to keep me from crawling under a shelf and stimming for the next few hours. The bad thing is that all my coping mechanisms aren't socially acceptable in public, so I tried to do things close to them that wouldn't be as obvious, like tensing all the muscles in my hand, or tapping my heels against the floor when I walked. Those helped a bit, but what helped the most was singing and humming songs from musicals, which blocked out everything else and focused my attention.<br />
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These are the days that scare me and show that my careful control on the world around me isn't really control. It's not that I'm really less susceptible to sensory overload, it's just that I have more sophisticated blocking systems. When those blocking mechanisms malfunction, I'm just as easily overloaded as anyone else.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-81245718851877684732011-05-12T07:52:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:22:09.251-07:00Executive functioning: When it all collidesLike most people with AS, I have a few issues with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_functions">executive functioning</a>. Executive functioning is pretty much the ability to plan and make decisions, as well as to change plans when necessary. It's the ability set which not only allows for short-term planning like going to the counter to get a banana, peeling the banana and eating it, but also for more complex long-term plans, like saving for college or finding a job. It is what allows us to refuse a food because we know we shouldn't eat it even though we want it, like if we're on a diet.<br />
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Now that I'm home from school for the summer, I help out around the house while my parents are at work. Every morning, my mom leaves me a note with what she needs me to do. Usually it's something like loading the dishwasher or putting away laundry, but occasionally it's more complex, like vacuuming. This is where I start to get confused sometimes and I need her to be more specific. If others aren't specific with me on a task, I can't get it done or I do it and then panic because I think I did it wrong.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://colstrip.schoolwires.net/colstrip/lib/colstrip/calendar_clipart.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://colstrip.schoolwires.net/colstrip/lib/colstrip/calendar_clipart.gif" width="171" /></a></div><br />
This morning she left me a note asking me to call two dentists about appointments. However, she didn't tell me a few details, so I'm still trying to figure it out. This is how I'm executing it with my current information.<br />
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<ul><li>A note is left for me telling me to call the dentists. It has the phone numbers of both businesses.</li>
<li>Thinking back to yesterday, I can know that we talked about needing to schedule to have a cavity filled at dentist A and about cancelling a cleaning at dentist B. What she didn't tell me was if I was supposed to reschedule the cancelled cleaning with dentist A, who I'm moving all my appointments to.</li>
<li>I can pick up the phone and call dentist A and talk to them about scheduling the filling. The calendar is right next to the phone so I can check what days I'm available and find a time which would work.</li>
<li>I confirm the date and time with them, then write those on the correct space of the calendar.</li>
<li>Then I get stuck because I don't know how to handle the cancellation yet, so I have to wait until mom comes home to confirm what I need to do with her.</li>
</ul><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXyrdv7DsH1NoHw03gTymgeWfZBtG-4lW5bSEimE5fkT7OlMrRAHaK_2l1ePCiXyIHrJGTJb7pveFD09G16mNjxw1-L7AlxPC6UeQiT1-zBT__O1XC8FPBy9ajQaK8NEOekvqnDF7JG0I/s1600/to-do-list3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXyrdv7DsH1NoHw03gTymgeWfZBtG-4lW5bSEimE5fkT7OlMrRAHaK_2l1ePCiXyIHrJGTJb7pveFD09G16mNjxw1-L7AlxPC6UeQiT1-zBT__O1XC8FPBy9ajQaK8NEOekvqnDF7JG0I/s320/to-do-list3.jpg" width="299" /></a>People being vague is one of the most frustrating things in the world for me (and, I'm assuming, for other aspies). Our society is not one of concrete, absolute details and tasks. It's a world of maybes and unaccounted for variables. This is what makes it so frustrating to work with others. A lot of NTs get annoyed when you probe them for details, they expect you to read their minds and when you don't get the mind reading right, they are disappointed or mad.<br />
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So how do I deal with executive processing most of the time? If it doesn't involve other people, I'm usually able to motivate myself and find solutions for when I'm overwhelmed or confused. If I'm alone in planning, I make lists, diagrams and spreadsheets. If I'm not alone, I just try to keep asking and writing down exactly what they say. The person might be a little annoyed or get frustrated repeating themselves, but I think that it's better than being afraid to ask and doing the whole thing wrong.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-64324595817097094482011-05-05T09:16:00.000-07:002011-05-05T09:16:13.119-07:00Defining "High-Functioning"Amanda Baggs wrote <a href="http://www.autistics.org/library/ambweintraub.html">a great article</a> which I recently read and recommend that you do too. It brings up the point that defining "high-functioning" in Autism Spectrum Disorders is incredibly difficult. Most of those on the spectrum have areas which they excel in and areas which they are very weak in. Classifying someone as high-functioning just based on one or two characteristics is difficult, as is classifying the same person as low-functioning. Nearly all of us have something which we're amazingly good at or can be seen as high-functioning in as well as things which would have us seen as low-functioning.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNvKn1E1fKKZlE1AjMIw5JnTcR5B5op_DBljt6BE3gMqWTTu0Hr5_VspMLfAOpKk0lamJkBpVWWhyH-a0S-gXMlSmCwNS0bapo1RYxCC-uWPnEsstMLNpjBOFzfZEM4VGP6-ff3NkOx2I/s320/InfinityAnimation-3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNvKn1E1fKKZlE1AjMIw5JnTcR5B5op_DBljt6BE3gMqWTTu0Hr5_VspMLfAOpKk0lamJkBpVWWhyH-a0S-gXMlSmCwNS0bapo1RYxCC-uWPnEsstMLNpjBOFzfZEM4VGP6-ff3NkOx2I/s320/InfinityAnimation-3.png" /></a></div><br />
I am able to attend college and live on my own without support from any kind of aid. Am I high-functioning?<br />
I have breakdowns where I lose the ability to speak and can only scream and hit people. Am I low-functioning?<br />
I can write and speak fairly eloquently and have a large vocabulary. Am I high-functioning?<br />
I become upset and will lash out or cry if my routine is interrupted. Am I low-functioning?<br />
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If you just look for high or low functioning, you're going to get pretty confused. I, for the most part, am very high functioning, able to hold a job, attend college, have friendly and intimate relationships and advocate for myself. However, that doesn't mean that I'm no longer autistic. I stim, bite myself, spin things, need lists, schedules and order, cry or laugh seemingly without reason and have terrible breakdowns - all things which point to autism.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.wingedturtle.com/images/cp/desc_iamautistic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.wingedturtle.com/images/cp/desc_iamautistic.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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The truth is that labels like "high-functioning" or "low-functioning" are very subjective, unscientific terms. Every person will present their symptoms differently. Alecta's autism is not Julia's autism or Chris' autism, even if we all have Aspergers. While it might be good to give someone a general idea of how severe symptoms are, it won't give an idea of what skills are already there or what challenges someone faces. The fact that I'm considered high-functioning doesn't dismiss the challenges I have in my life.<br />
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I don't know how we could more accurately label autism other than being specific about individuals. We've come a long way from thinking of autism as a form of childhood schizophrenia, but we still have a long, long way to go before we can really accurately describe what is going on.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-8943613082514175532011-04-29T19:17:00.000-07:002011-04-29T19:17:53.715-07:00Fearing ignorant authority figuresTomorrow I'm going to my first protest.<br />
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Actually, let me rephrase that. Tomorrow I am going to photograph a protest and I've never been to a protest before. I'm not there to rally with either side, though I am affiliated with one of the groups taking part. I'm going there to objectively capture images of the protesters and environment for my Digital Photography class final project.<br />
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There's a fair amount of anxiety running through me over doing this. It's not that I'm afraid of crowds - unlike most aspies I know, I thrive on crowded, noisy public situations - and it's not that I fear for my safety too much.<br />
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My fear is that something will happen which will trigger a breakdown and make me go nonverbal or start screaming. I'm afraid of the stares - I sometimes go on tiptoe and splay my fingers out at my sides to keep me relaxed. Most of all, I'm afraid that I won't be able to pull out my cards which explain that I have AS in time, or that when I try to, the police will think I'm going for a gun and attack me.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvVpyhE7beTLPr6JUt1qWmnoeD0V5zIbWk7qge-TSsqg0KseOtu1ypdgknYhow7JtCOASjAT3oz2aAcivQRqQCbEwfljQJWG12hkWQc_yXpEiXMGBK2JUVUuHSAfX5zwBXbJHR5r1s5iA/s1600/Autism+Card-Blank+Number.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvVpyhE7beTLPr6JUt1qWmnoeD0V5zIbWk7qge-TSsqg0KseOtu1ypdgknYhow7JtCOASjAT3oz2aAcivQRqQCbEwfljQJWG12hkWQc_yXpEiXMGBK2JUVUuHSAfX5zwBXbJHR5r1s5iA/s400/Autism+Card-Blank+Number.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My AS alert card which I carry to explain some of my behaviour</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
This is a legitimate fear. People with autism are often seen as being scary or threatening when they're in breakdowns. Schools use dangerous grips and holds to take down upset autistic kids and police taser adults who act oddly or are thought to be violent. The sad thing is that most authority figures, especially in high-pressure situations, don't know what to do when they encounter autistic behaviour so I do have to fear for my own safety when around trained police.<br />
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I called my mom this evening and reminded her of what I'm doing tomorrow so that if something does go bad she won't be as terrified or confused as she could be. I'm nervous about going into this. It's a volatile environment where one simple misunderstanding could trigger a domino effect. Yet at the same time, I know I need to do this. I've always wanted to attend a protest, and here's my chance. Cross your fingers for me, bloggosphere, I'm going in.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-75992209608474426822010-12-18T13:18:00.000-08:002010-12-18T13:18:41.224-08:00Apple Cinnamon OatmealI'm home for the holidays, which means I have access to a kitchen again and am more than happy to be able to cook again. Oatmeal is one of the most versatile dishes around, you can throw in whatever you like and end up with a hot, filling meal. I needed something quick and healthy to eat today, so I made this oatmeal. It has a great sweet and tart taste and can be made GF/CF and vegan.<br />
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Quick Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal<br />
<ul><li>1/2 cup quick oats (if making gluten-free, use gf quick oats)</li>
<li>1/4 of a medium apple, cored and diced (I used granny smith because it retains its texture the best)</li>
<li>Apple cider, enough to cover the oats and apples</li>
<li>1/2 teaspoon cinnamon</li>
<li>Sweetener of your choice, to taste</li>
</ul>Combine quick oats, apple, cinnamon and sweetener in a bowl. Add enough apple cider to cover and mix well. Microwave at high for one and a half minutes, then stir and finish microwaving for thirty seconds.<br />
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If you wish to use slow-cooking oats, prepare almost as above, but combine ingredients in a pan and cook on the stovetop instead of in a microwave, stirring slowly. Cook until the oats are soft and very slightly chewy and the apples still have a little give to them.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-56647413877961460812010-12-15T17:07:00.000-08:002010-12-15T17:08:14.641-08:00Food is a sensory issue<a href="http://blogchef.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/perfect_eggs_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://blogchef.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/perfect_eggs_1.jpg" width="320" /></a>I can't stand jelly. Nor do I like yogurt drinks, bananas, or hard-boiled/soft-cooked eggs. This isn't because I don't like the flavor of these things, because I do like how they taste. I don't eat them because I can't stand the texture, the gross, mushy, slimy feel they put in my mouth.<br />
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Some people will claim aspies are picky eaters, and I object to that label. I'll try just about anything you hand me at least once, usually twice, but I won't eat some foods after a while because I know the texture is unpleasant. This seems to be the common reason for being picky, that we can't stand the textures of foods, just like we can't stand the textures of clothing. If you can't stand the texture of clothing, you start wearing only one type of clothing which you know is comfortable. Likewise, if you can't stand the texture of a lot of foods, you start only eating particular foods.<br />
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Scientists say that the human tongue is constantly changing and shedding old taste buds to grow new ones, so tastes can change, but I don't think the texture issue would change with that. My tastes for foods have changed - I used to love cold beets and now don't particularly enjoy them - but my taste in textures never has. Bananas are still usually too slimy and mushy for me.<br />
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I don't like change much, but I will still try foods again and again to see if my tastes have evolved. Sometimes the results surprise me, like in the case of eggs. I don't like soft-cooked eggs - anything scrambled or with a goopy center grosses me out - but I recently was persuaded to try an egg casserole which was hard-cooked. Surprisingly, I loved it! The change in texture made all the difference in the world, causing it to suddenly become palatable.<br />
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Trying new foods or old foods in new forms can really surprise you. Next time, instead of turning your nose up at something made with whatever your hated food is, try it. The result could be a new favorite.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-32482438712843075482010-12-15T16:44:00.001-08:002010-12-15T16:46:49.749-08:00Exploring the Spectrum, Part 6: Take the Quiz!If you've been reading my Exploring the Spectrum series, you probably know plenty more about Pervasive Developmental Disorders than you did when you started. What better way to finish off this than with a quiz designed to test your knowledge and see if you've really been playing attention?<br />
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<a href="http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/e4gNYyH/How-much-do-you-know-about-Pervasive-Developmental-Disorders">Click here to take the quiz!</a>Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-65345675648137924152010-12-14T10:08:00.000-08:002010-12-15T16:41:38.976-08:00Exploring the Spectrum, Part 5: ...And everything elseThis is my last disorder related post. Make sure you've studied because there will be a quiz next post! <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.autism.ahpa.com.au/Portals/0/PDD-ASD%20Diagram.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="http://www.autism.ahpa.com.au/Portals/0/PDD-ASD%20Diagram.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>There are some forms of autism which are thought to be on the spectrum by one group and considered separate diseases by others. They share common features with autism but have differences which pull them apart from other ASDs. The ones I'll be discussing here are Rett Syndrome and Childhood Disintegration Disorder (CDD).<br />
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Rett Syndrome occurs almost exclusively in girls. It occurs because of a defect in a gene on the X chromosome. Because females have two X's, the extra allows the girl to survive. Males with Rett die very, very early if they survive at all - most are stillborn or miscarried.<br />
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Like autism, individuals with Rett can show symptoms by 6 months and are able to be diagnosed by 18 months. The symptoms in social areas are close to autism - lack of verbal ability, avoidance of eye contact and little emotional or social interest in others.<br />
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What sets Rett apart from autism is the genetic factor and the physical problems. Most individuals with it cannot walk, have small hands, feet and heads, and may have dystonia. 80% have seizures.<br />
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The prognosis of someone with Rett Syndrome is similar to that of a person with severe classical autism. They can be helped through various types of therapy including speech, physical, play and occupational therapy, however, they are unlikely to live on their own or be self-sufficient. They also tend to die at a younger age - around 40 years old - from complications<br />
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The next disorder is Childhood Disintegrate Disorder, or CDD. This can be one of the most frightening ASD-related problems because of the late and sudden onset.<br />
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<a href="http://blogs.families.com/media/disintegrate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="http://blogs.families.com/media/disintegrate.jpg" width="320" /></a>Children with CDD develop normally until they reach a point between two and ten years old and then suddenly lose skills. Some parents have reported that their children were aware of the skill loss and scared by it. The skills lost are usually language, self-care, motor and social-related ones, areas of functioning which are normally impaired in autism. Children may also develop seizures, another regular feature of autism.<br />
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There's no exact cause known for this disease. Some associate it with a buildup of fatty acids in the brain or a brain infection. The treatments for it are the same as all other pervasive developmental disorders - behaviour therapies to teach the skills which were lost, and medication to control severe seizures and psychotic symptoms.<br />
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There are more disorders which are considered closely related to autism, but the five I've detailed in these posts are the most common ones which are considered part of the spectrum. There are variations of all of them - for instance, there is such thing as high-functioning autism which is not related to Asperger's Syndrome - and some people list different symptoms or ways of assessing children for the disorders.<br />
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In the end, it's all a pervasive developmental disorder and early treatment is always the key.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-77737872443379454952010-12-11T16:19:00.000-08:002010-12-15T16:41:38.976-08:00Exploring the Spectrum, Part 4: PDD-NOSWelcome to the fourth part of Exploring the Spectrum.<br />
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<a href="http://www.autismawarenessuk.com/acatalog/164.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.autismawarenessuk.com/acatalog/164.jpg" /></a>The next autistic spectrum disorder I'll go over is Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified, which is normally shortened to PDD-NOS and also known as atypical autism.<br />
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PDD-NOS is somewhere between Aspergers and classical autism. This is the classification given to those who don't fit into any other form of the disorder, who have symptoms which don't quite match anything else. It is also thought to be one of the more frustrating diagnoses a child can receive because there isn't as much information about it as there is about AS and autism.<br />
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Early on, children with PDD-NOS may show some similar symptoms to those with autism - they usually won't babble or speak on time as infants and have problems socializing. They're more likely to speak as time goes on, but their vocabulary is usually limited and nothing like that of a child with Asperger's.<br />
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<a href="http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_whatis_PDD#pdd-nos">The DSM-IV says this of PDD-NOS</a>:<br />
<blockquote><span style="margin-top: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px;">The essential features of PDD-NOS are severe and pervasive impairment in the development of reciprocal social interaction or verbal and nonverbal communication skills; and stereotyped behaviors, interests, and activities. The criteria for Autistic Disorder are not met because of late age onset; atypical and/or sub- threshold symptomotology are present.</span></blockquote><blockquote><span style="margin-top: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px;">This category should be used when there is a severe and pervasive impairment in the development of reciprocal social interaction or verbal and nonverbal communication skills, or when stereotyped behavior, interests, and activities are present, but the criteria are not met for a specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Schizophrenia, Schizotypical Personality Disorder, or Avoidant Personality Disorder.</span></blockquote>This essentially means that the child isn't presenting normally, severely enough or at the correct age for autism and they don't have a specific diagnosis for the symptoms the child is displaying. The diagnosis is used if there is an obviously autism-related problem going on that doesn't fit other categories or other disorders such as those listed in the definition.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.iancommunity.org/galleries/back_to_school_gallery/Classroom_Setting_PDDNOS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="http://www.iancommunity.org/galleries/back_to_school_gallery/Classroom_Setting_PDDNOS.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Like all autistic disorders, early intervention and therapies are the key to helping a child diagnosed with PDD-NOS. Their prognosis is not as clear-cut as the other disorders because of the range of severity and symptoms presented. Some may go on to have fairly normal lives and may even marry or have children, while others may remain with a caregiver for their entire life and not go on to higher education or a job.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-30865406162283671252010-12-10T12:48:00.000-08:002010-12-15T16:41:38.977-08:00Exploring the Spectrum, Part 3: Asperger's SyndromeFor part two of Exploring the Spectrum, I'm going to focus on Asperger's Syndrome, the form of autism which this blog is based around.<br />
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Asperger's Syndrome was discovered by Hans Asperger in 1944 but wasn't added to the DSM until 1994. This is considered the more mild form of autism, with those afflicted being higher-functioning and more capable of self-care.<br />
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Those with Asperger's Syndrome show marked delays in gross motor skills and social interaction. They usually have difficulty looking at eyes or faces, reading body language, understanding metaphors and seeing hidden motives. They rarely have language or speech delays, though some may be selectively mute under stress, and often have a very large vocabulary for their age. Mental retardation is not at all common in Aspergers.<br />
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Aspies, as they're sometimes called, have some traits in common with classical autism - they also stim (though usually in less dangerous or destructive ways) and have intense focus, seeming lost in their own heads when working on something, and are very routine-oriented, where anything outside of the usual can send them into tantrums and meltdowns.<br />
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The most telling identifier, however, is the obsessions or specialist subjects. Aspies will usually have a subject which they are entirely obsessed with to the point that nothing else matters. They'll talk endlessly about whatever their subject is, no matter if the other person is bored or not, and will constantly redirect conversation to their interest, becoming bored or rude when that subject isn't being talked about. Some common interests are dinosaurs, astronomy, trains, book series, plants or animals and video games.<br />
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Asperger's was originally only diagnosed in boys, as Hans Asperger only studied boys with the disorder, but girls have been found to be able to have it. Girls, however, are usually capable of passing as just a bit quirky or odd, not disabled.<br />
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This has been explained by the way society treats girls and how they're encouraged to grow - girls with AS will spend more time memorizing social scripts so they can blend in and often have stereotypically feminine interests, such as dolls, animals or cooking. Their way of expressing these interests is usually different - where a neurotypical little girl would create social storylines for her Barbies, a girl with AS is usually more interested in alphabetizing them or putting them in some kind of order and have the same level of obsession as a male aspie.<br />
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It's harder to diagnose Asperger's at a younger age and the earliest onset of symptoms can typically be traced to 30 months, though a diagnosis is made at an average of 11 years old. Like classical autism, those with AS can improve with early intervention and specialized therapies.<br />
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They too can have commorbid issues, but are more likely to have ones such as depression, anxiety, dyslexia, dyspraxia, Sensory Processing Disorder and ADD/ADHD.<br />
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Aspies have a better long-term prognosis than individuals with classical autism, being more likely to go on to college or trade school, work, date or marry and have children. They have a higher chance to lead an independent life.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-18073973121128986852010-12-08T09:42:00.000-08:002010-12-15T16:41:38.977-08:00Exploring the Spectrum, Part 2: Classical AutismAutism is a spectrum, a variety of disorders with varying severity and behaviours presented by it. Perhaps the best known one to the general population is what is seen as "classical" autism, also called infantile autism. Classical autism is often the most severe and obvious form of the disorder. It is the one seen most often in the media and thought of when the word "autism" is mentioned.<br />
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0d/Autistic-sweetiepie-boy-with-ducksinarow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0d/Autistic-sweetiepie-boy-with-ducksinarow.jpg" width="320" /></a>Individuals with classical autism can be identified by 18 months of age. They usually will present troubling signs to their parents or caregivers - no talking, babbling or phrases, no gesturing, seeming uninterested in other people and stiffening or becoming distressed when picked up. Some even lose social or language skills, though this is more often seen in another form of the disorder which will be discussed in a later post.<br />
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There is a definite genetic component to all forms of autism. Someone with a parent or sibling who is autistic has an elevated chance of also being autistic. Autism also comes with a veritable buffet of potential <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conditions_comorbid_to_autism_spectrum_disorders">co-morbid disorders</a> such as seizures, gastrointenstinal problems, immune disorders, fragile X syndrome and mental retardation.<br />
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A child or adult with autism usually lacks most social or communication skills. Some can speak or learn to speak, others remain mostly mute for their entire lives. They have very limited eye contact and generally dislike physical contact. These people have been said be locked in their own heads. Usually they are extremely set in their own routines and have little ability to change them. Some are seen as being unable to feel pain or sense danger.<br />
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An obvious trait is the stimming, which can take many forms, ranging from benign, such as handflapping, leg wiggling and jumping, to the disturbing or dangerous, like biting oneself or banging their head against things.<br />
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d1/Autism-stacking-cans_2nd_edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d1/Autism-stacking-cans_2nd_edit.jpg" width="234" /></a>There is no known cure for autism, but early intervention is seen as the best way to assure a better future for these individuals. Intense attention in special education programs and various forms of therapy have shown the best results. Most individuals with classical autism will never live on their own, but some may be able to hold jobs.<br />
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One of the most misconceived parts of the disorder is the idea of autistic savants. Movies like Rain Man have made the idea that all autistic people are actually geniuses very popular. Savantism is actually another developmental disorder, of which 50% of those with it are autistic and 50% have another form of disorder such as mental retardation. 1 in 10 people with an ASD may have savant-like skills.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-35892513954154156352010-12-08T08:58:00.000-08:002010-12-15T16:41:38.977-08:00Exploring the Spectrum, Part One: The History of AutismFor my final project in class, I am doing a series of posts about the different forms of autism.<br />
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Autism has been around since what seems like the start of time. Many old cases of mental patients before it was a classification show autistic symptoms, such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Boy_of_Aveyron">Victor of Aveyron</a>, a wild boy found in France. Even when the diagnosis came into being, most psychologists didn't know how to treat it and tried treatments we now see as cruel and inhumane. Autism research has come a long way in identifying and helping those with the disorder.<br />
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For easier reference, I've created a short timeline about the modern history of autism. Click any marker to be directed to a larger version of the timeline with more information on each subject.<br />
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<object align="middle" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" height="347" id="timerimeSWF" width="450"> <param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://timerime.com/flash/timerimeSWF.swf?Qxml=513736&embedded=1&newlnr=5" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://timerime.com/flash/timerimeSWF.swf?Qxml=513736&embedded=1&newlnr=5" quality="high" wmode="transparent" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="450" height="347" name="timerimeSWF" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="always" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" /></embed> </object>Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-64249650864758011222010-12-05T12:34:00.000-08:002010-12-05T12:34:03.611-08:00On Being Non-Verbal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://tlctranslation.com/Blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/64.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://tlctranslation.com/Blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/64.gif" width="287" /></a></div>In high-stress and high emotion situations, I often lose the ability to speak. This is intensely frustrating because I want to talk and I'm fully aware of what is going on around me, but can't. It seems like the connection between my brain and mouth has shut off.<br />
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Most of the time, I can't fully speak as a neurotypical person can. I can carry a conversation and alert people to things, do all the normal communicative tasks, but I am unable to say things on my mind without being prompted. Once asked what I'm thinking about or how I'm feeling, I can normally say what was being thought, but without it, I can't unless it's absolutely necessary.<br />
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Today is one of those days where I can't speak and it's a struggle to communicate my needs to the people I'm staying with. Luckily they haven't been pressing me much, but when I'm trying to explain something, like the fact that I have a headache, it's frustrating. I imagine this is how a lot of people with kinds of autism which impairs the ability to speak feel - there are clear thoughts and needs and a lot of frustration over not being able to speak.<br />
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Luckily things like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picture_Exchange_Communication_System">PECS</a> exist, allowing those who can't speak on their own to tell others what's going on with them. I still have the ability to write and have been doing so to explain the more complex things, but for the most part remain silent.<br />
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It's not a silence to be pitied. While I don't choose the silence normally, I'm used to it. I can explain what needs to be said and occasionally whisper something. In time, this too shall pass.Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-33984392502120693372010-12-03T10:54:00.000-08:002010-12-03T10:54:46.784-08:00Dealing with Sudden InterestsPossibly the biggest downfall about being obsessive over different subjects is what happens when a new subject enters. I become very enthusiastic about new ideas and then they sudden fall apart, but while I'm interested in it I tend to neglect everything else in my sphere.<br />
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I know some neurotypicals are like this, particularly gamers, who will abandon their lives for days at a time to devote themselves to playing a new game, beating it completely and totally before being able to go back to other games. Heck, there's a website devoted to <a href="http://www.backloggery.com/">helping gamers get through their backlog of games</a>.<br />
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My problem is a little different. It's easy to sit and get through a backlog of games, but jumping from social project to project, devoting oneself to a major project and then suddenly becoming interested in something different which conflicts is pretty terrible. People feel slighted when you don't get back to them on something that you seemed so enthusiastic about before.<br />
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This habit has made me very cautious about involving myself in projects and ideas. I'll spend weeks or even months thinking about something before I do it just to make sure I don't overcomit myself. There are some duties which can't be compromised: school, particular relationships, parts of Second Life, blogging. Those are major social commitments for me. Others can be added and subtracted as needing.<br />
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Perhaps moderation is the best thing in most relationships, carefully involving oneself only in what can be handled. There are things I'd love to do and try but know they would get in the way of my current responsibilities.<br />
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Charting is great for keeping track of this: making a spreadsheet of commitments or games to be played or projects being worked on to see if another can be fit in or needs to be delayed.<br />
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How do you keep track of everything you have to do? What has worked, what hasn't?Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4325736525748701193.post-6726728780155727492010-12-01T08:48:00.000-08:002010-12-01T08:48:41.876-08:00So, how much do you know about autism?We were asked to create a quiz in class about a topic which relates to what we blog about. Of course, my choice was obvious. I tried to make this quiz relevant and challenging, but not overly hard.<br />
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Take the plunge and test yourself: <a href="http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/e0UAt7q/How-much-do-you-know-about-Autism">How much do you know about autism?</a>Alectahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.com0